the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
