Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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