Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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