a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
