no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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