I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
