I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
