Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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