I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Let's get the cat blown out
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
