weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
