The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
