And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
