So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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