I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
false alarm. still invincible.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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