There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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