I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
