Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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