Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
