There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
