plz talk dirty to me
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
