if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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