big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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