How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I puked a lego.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
