i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
