He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
