I want to stick my p in your. b.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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