in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
