Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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