Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
