the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
