I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
