so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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