I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
