I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
