So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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