I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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