Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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