a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
