shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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