I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
you never un-have a 4some
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
