we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
