evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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