Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
