Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
