But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
