Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
