I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
