I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
