we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
