Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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